(This post was written over a two months period so there may be continuity errors. I will keep updating on the progress and correct the errors. For now just uploaded the rough draft)
Last two month were pretty tough – both physically and mentally. Two of my family members were in and out of the hospital, a relative was injured. Professionally, we had three key people resign from our company. We also lost some big orders which we were pitching for. And if that was not enough, I ended up injuring my wrist during exercise -put me out for eight weeks. That’s more than the typical share of bad news you expect for a eight week period!
Isn’t it always the case, that when one bad thing happen, many follow in quick intervals. And this just makes the whole scenario look so bleak. And I wonder why it happens, and what can we really do about this.
Of course we have no control over what happens. But our approach to these events, make a lot of difference in how we are able to overcome such a situation. Over the last few years, I have become stronger in handling such events and therefore through this post would like to share key learnings which helps me get over such a period. And I’m sure you too may have experienced such situations.
Here are three important things you should be aware of, which can help you tide over such situations
- This phase is inevitable : Accept
Isn’t it ironical how we always plan for good thing to happen in life, but seldom do we plan for experiencing pain. But we all know that pain is inevitable. And because, we’re never expecting the same (or plan for it), when it does happen, we are caught off guard, and that creates a big problem which leads to an imbalance,
It’s important to be aware, that every once a while, you will be subjected to lot of negatives, and there is nothing you can do about. So you need to be prepared for it.
If we are ready to accept pain, once a while as an inevitable phase, it is easier to handle this phase. When the first employee left us earlier in Aug, I was not prepared and so created more pain, but by the time the third guy left in quick succession, it really didn’t matter to me. I was more like, expecting something bad to happen anyways, and yes it did happen. So I was ok.
- Instead of regretting focus on the next steps : Act
We all know what happens to us when we are not in our control. There is really no point thinking too much about it. As humans, we will definitely get sad/irritated/helpless but we need to quickly shift our focus on what we can do next, since there is no other way out.
There is no point pondering over what happened, or what could have happened. We should quickly accept the fact that something bad has happened, and focus all our resources on what to do next. You will continue to feel sad but don’t allow that to move your focus away from the next steps/solution. This will also help you in some ways channelize the negative energy into something positive.
So when our third employee left, I spent very little time on regret, and quickly looked for a solution which was about finding a replacement. When I hurt my wrist during gym, I could not lift weight for four weeks. It made me a bit irritated but then knowing there is no point cribbing about it, I immediately planned my schedule to include more of cardio in my workout. In fact after six weeks I have stopped cardio also since doctor asked me not to exert too much pressure ( so I am coping with it). Yes it irritates me every day but that didn’t allow me to skip my gym. In the long run this would be most beneficial. ( I hope!)
- “This too shall pass”
This is a simple, and the most powerful truth. Everything that we experience is transitory, nothing is permanent. It’s inevitable that this phase would go away in some time. The only question is, are you ready to let it go, and cling on to the past?
Bonus: You become stronger. And become more successful
Don’t you always feel that you have got a raw deal in life; you have got more shares of pain and suffering than others. We always extrapolate our own sufferings and downplay what others may be going through.
But I think everyone experiences their own share of sufferings.
Even if one believes, that he has to suffer more, he or she invariably becomes a much stronger person to take on life than others.
And once you are able to handle such pain and suffering, which makes you stronger, seldom can small distractions affect you in future. In fact it’s this experience which helps you succeed big time in life whether professionally or personally.
So in the end you gain out of this painful experience over a long term.
We need to remember that such instances only make you stronger and more successful and gives you more ammunition to handle the future better. It’s how you look at it that matters.