Home Life & More When what we want is not really what we want.

When what we want is not really what we want.




During the time I stayed with my parents, before marriage, I used to frequent Talwalkars gym which was open from Monday through Saturday.  During weekdays, could hardly manage to gym for around 30 minutes due to lack of time.  And on Sundays, when I actually had lot of time to gym, it was closed. I always wished they shifted their weekly off to a weekday so I could gym on Sundays.


After marriage, I shifted to my new house, few miles away. Due to distance factor, had changed my gym too. And the good news? They had Mondays off here – operational from Tuesday through Sundays. This was really what I wanted and that made me really happy.

So now on Sundays, I ended up spending additional time at the gym and had a real good feeling about it.

There was one problem though.

Because Sunday was a holiday for both of us, whenever we planned for morning trips for breakfast or brunch or any other visits it clashed with my gym time. And my wife was not pleased about it, as Sundays was family time for her. As for me, skipping gym two days in a row was a strict no-no. However over a period of time, because my Sundays became so busy, even I started feeling that Sunday needs to be a complete rest day.

And now I wished it would have been better, if the weekly off was on Sunday! So after I get what I want, now i really don’t want that. Such is life


Haven’t we all experienced it?

We always desire for things/elements we don’t have and when we do eventually receive the same, it’s like, after a brief phase of excitement but then in no time it all fizzes out.  It’s not as big as we made out to be.  It’s like we overestimate the importance of the missing element so much so that sometime given a choice we may want to undo it altogether.

It happens all the time. Not just in personal but in professional life too. One example which always comes to mind is during job shifts. Sometimes, we shift jobs because we find the current ones terrible, only to realize in a few months the earlier one was better. It does happen.

This desire for the missing elements leads to a lot insecurity, restlessness and our inability to  enjoy the present. We don’t realize that sometime what we have is much better than what we are thinking.

I must mention, that in no way am I stating that we should not desire for something. It’s just that sometimes our desire for that missing element is so strong that we are unable to appreciate the present and our overestimation of the positive change we expect once we receive what we want leads to dissonance in future too. So both present and future gets negatively affected.

So what was the learning for me through this and many other similar episodes?

Simple awareness that there could be a possibility that our present without the element we so much desire, could actually be better than what we think. And that maybe, if we get what we want, we may not be as happy as we think we would be. It can be even worse. It’s possible.  

This will help us to calm our insecurity and our deteriorating patience level in the present and maybe we will look at life in a different context.

And i would leave you with one of my favorite quote which relates with this episode

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”  ~Dalai Lama




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Stevan Noronha

Founder and Chief of Strategy - FOXBOX Retail

I’m an entrepreneur who’s super passionate about life and all it has to offer. Through this blog, I intend to share experiences along my entrepreneurial journey, travel, finance and life in general.This blog is a collection of experiences and learnings that I want to share .

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